All the Girls Say I'm Pretty Fly... for a White Guy

Hey hey hey blogging world!! I'm in a pretty good mood today, even though it was painfully boring. I tye-dyed some shirts and my brother did a shirt of his, too. Then I accidentally "acid-dyed" by black shirt with bleach while cleaning up, but I made it look cool. Well, really retro, but cool nonetheless. I can't wait until this weekend, because my baby is coming down here to see me. I love him.

And when I touch your hand

It's then I understand

the beauty that's within

It's now that we begin

You always light my way

I hope there never comes a day

No matter where I go

I'll always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe

I'm not alone

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I catch my breath

It's you I breathe

You're everything I know

That makes me believe

I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see

So tell me

Do you see me?

School's also coming to an end. I look foward to the summer. Then my love will be down here all the time and I will never be missing him. Hopefully. Because you can miss someone the moment their arms let go of you. C'est vrai.

Je t'adore, mon cher.

When Every Starfall Brought You to Tears Again

Hello blogging world. It's me, as usual. I just went to the nail salon yesterday, and they filed my left thumb all weird, so I just want my readers to know that I am literally going through pain to write this.

I saw the love of my life this weekend. It was pretty amazing. Nothing spectacular, except him. :] Tom came over and we all hung out, and then we went to the mall with RJ, and we all saw "Drag Me to Hell." It was a pretty good movie, but the ending was very upsetting and annoying. Tom would agree with me here, right, Tom? Anyway, Tom, Dave, and me all played DDR [I won] and FUSION FRENZYYYYY on my Xbox. It was so much fun.

The only damper on my weekend was when his mom came to pick him up. Despite the obvious reasons as to why this would be a damper, his mom also came in and asked him to talk to his grandfather, who is opposed to them coming down here [long story]. While my world was on the phone, his eyes got glassy and his angelic features twisted into a masque of sadness. The visage I dread. It almost made tears fall from my eyes, but since his were not falling yet, I decided that I must be strong. His grandfather hung up on him, which was very mean, since it was not mon ange's fault.

This makes me sad, because his face is always so happy when he is with me, but whenever his family gets involved, he gets sad. This is upsetting for me because he has to endure his family for a long time, but his friends he gets to see for only a few seconds, or so it seems. I feel so horrible for him because he deserves better than that. He deserves a loving, supportive atmosphere in which cruelty has no place.

I'm also very nervous because if his grandfather gets angry enough, he may do something unthinkable, like forbid them from coming down to Philadelphia. That deeply saddens me, and I don't want to sink into another depression. It's very sad. I always said that I can't wait until summertime, because then my love would be down here for long long looonnngg periods of time. I hope to the goddesses and gods above that this plan still works. Please, please don't let anything get in the way of that. Goddess, please.

Well, I should go study for finals.

My angel, we will endure.
Our love lasts miles.
And days.
And hours.
And weeks.
It always will.
I love you.
♥

I Miss You More Than I Did Yesterday.. So Far Away

Hello people of Earth (and wherever else you may be from). How is everyone today? I hope just dandy. I don't really know how I am today. Or how I have been the whole week. I feel odd. Detached. No clue why; I guess it's just one of those things. I miss my love like crazy; I haven't seen him in two weeks. It moved me to tears last night before I went to bed, which was really uncool because I was TRYING to get some sleep and my nose was blocked up like there was a Hoover Dam in there or something. It sounds like I'm sugar-coating this to make it seem like it didn't bug me, but this is exactly how I viewed it. Okay, maybe not exactly. I WAS sad. And it saddened me [hence the tears], but I'll endure.
Something that always scares me is that we will grow apart. My angel and me, I mean. Whenever I feel detached, I think that it will happen. We'll slowly go apart. And I desperately don't want that to happen. I will hold him by his sequined scarf so he won't go. I think I unconsciously separate myself from the rest of everyone because I'm scared of that. I know it sounds like that doesn't make sense, and it doesn't fully, but it does. Not sure how, but it does.
I love him dearly. And the pieces of myself are missing him with a longing, worse than that of a caged bird who longs to stretch his wings. And it hurts worse than those cramped wings. Goddess, it hurts. My eyes burn, my chest hurts, and random things stop. Like my reactions. To anything. Maybe that is the reason for my curious detachment. The only remedy for this is his arms. His lips. His smile. His eyes. His face. Him. My angel. His words of love tie me over, but they only do so much. I don't know why, but I need the reassurance that he loves me and that he will never leave me. We haven't spoken a lot because our schedules don't allot us that time, and that, I think, is the reason why I need the assurance.
Baby, please tell me you love me. I know you do, but I need to hear it.
I love you. I need you. I miss you. I want to hear you laugh; to see your smile; to see your eyes light up and sparkle in the moonlight when I'm in your arms; to be with you; to see your face scrunch up when I touch your nose. I love all of that. I miss all of that. I love you. I miss you. I need you.