Dancing Shoes

I don’t understand a lot of things going on in my life at this point in time. One of the major things I don’t understand is why the fates have separated me from my love. I hold no animosity towards them obviously, but I don’t understand why they decided to do this to us. I see couples around school all the time who take each other for granted. I also see that they don’t really love each other. I wonder why fate hasn’t taken them away from each other. I am deeply envious of my friends who are together, and I cannot keep those ugly emotions inside very long. My friends always want to go be alone, and so they ditch me in the mornings sometimes. It used to not really bother me much, but then one day one of my friends asked me about my sadness [u see that morning I had forgotten my "happy mask"] and I confided in her. Since then, she's felt bad about going away to be alone with her girlfriend. That doesn’t make me feel any better. I feel bad then because I am hindering their relationships; I don’t want to be a hanger-on. I know my friends love me, but I don’t want to ask them to stay with me. Unfortunately, they see the sadness in my eyes when I insist that I don’t mind that they go away. One time, I was very sad because my love couldn’t make it to see me, and plus, Tuesdays are the worst day of the week for me. They all left except for our only other single member, whom we affectionately call toast. Toast and I are sitting there, and I start to think about how happy I would be if my love went to my school, and to my intense surprise [and dismay] tears begin to well up in the corners of my eyes. I don’t think toast saw them, but I walked quickly to my homeroom. I don’t want repeats of that day. I don’t want my friends to pity me. I don’t want their sympathy. I don’t want the sadness. I don’t want the tears. I don’t want to be the hanger-on; the third wheel. This is what I want. It isn’t much, but it’s what I want. I want it more badly than a starving man wants food; more than a plant wants sunlight. I want the love of my life to live near where I do. I want him to go to school where I do. I want [when we get older] for the love of my life to live near me. I want him always beside me. I want it so we don’t have to be without one another anymore. I never want us to be apart.
The most I can do now, I suppose, is wait it out; count the years on my fingers until our hearts are restored. I can pray to Artemis for strength. I can pray to Athena for wisdom and guidance. I can pray to Demeter because she knows my pain. I can pray to Hermes, the Wayfinder, to send my messages of love to my angel.
A quote my friend once found said "life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
I should try that.
Strength and dancing shoes, I suppose.